Love as I have known it VS Love as I have come to know it...

Love as I have known it VS Love as I have come to know it - Dated 03 May 2011

Too many if not all of us are on a quest for love. Love to fill our empty lives, love to heal broken lives and hearts. We always look for the one person who will say the right things. Hold us when we cry and tell us everything is gonna be alright. We become willing to give up everything we have and all we are just for the temporary relief that this one person can bring because, yes…they can bring relief but only for a short while. However, what I have come to realise is that, no man is willing to give love without expecting anything in return. So because we become so desperate for this love and attention. We sacrifice our values, our principles, our hopes and our dreams. The sad part is that, though we sacrifice and give, no guarantee is given that we will have this person in our lives forever, through thick and thin. Even in marriage that’s meant to be forever, forever is not guaranteed.

So many young girls lose their purity to boys who have no intention of making them wives (how could they, when they’re only boys?) in the name of making love. We find girls and women with unwanted pregnancies, abortions and HIV because the only way to prove their love to these men is that they have sex with them without protection. Women are physically abused in the name of love, “I love you too much that’s why I become so jealous about you”. And we accept it because we are desperate for love. We become accustomed to being lied to in the name of protection “I cheated and hid it from you because I knew it would hurt you. I love you too much to hurt you like that”. We accept gifts and all kinds of material things as love. It becomes okay when the man is never at home as long at the credit cards and nice clothes keep rolling in “I give you everything you need, money, a house, a car, what more do you want from me?”. We accept all these lies and behaviours as substitutes for love. It becomes such an irony when this love we desperately needed to heal us, fulfil and complete us brings us pain. It hurts us more and open wounds that are deeper than the ones we had. Leaves us more handicapped. More vulnerable. More broken.
So one asks… Then where and how can we find love that will do all these things. Is such love even possible? Is there even a point in loving if this is the result…and the answer is YES, YES and YES!!!!
Now, what is love? I mean the true meaning of love… All I have is LOVE IS GOD AND GOD IS LOVE!!!!

God is love (1 John 4:8). God is the embodiment of love. Love is the very essence of His being.

Love comes from God (1 John 4:7). God created love. Love is a divine attribute, or characteristic, of God. The essence of God’s nature, and of a godly nature, is love. Love is more than a feeling. The love of God is a way of being.

Love is sacrificial, love is giving, and love is unconditional.
“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life” (John 3:16, KJV).
“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13, KJV).
“In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him” (1 John 4:9, KJV).

The love of God is what completes us. What fulfils us. He made us. He knew us before we were even conceived. Who will know best what our hearts need when they are broken? Who knows best what completes us? What fulfils us and what makes us feel safe and secure? Only the One who created us. The One who formed our being. Our Creator. Looking for human love when what we need is God’s is like taking an I-Phone to Alcatel to have it fixed, replace broken parts if need be.Oh! How we could apprehend the depth and width of His love for us. His gentleness. His care and kindness. His desire is to wipe our tears and bring joy to our hearts. How He looks forward to running to us, to answer our call. To catch our tears before they hit the ground. How He wants to hold us tight and assure us that everything IS okay. Lord have mercy!!!! We are lost…

I have come to the realisation that unless we come to a point where the love of Christ is enough for us. Where He completes us and we feel no need or desire or dependency for human love. Because really, how can you love another human being completely when you yourself still need to be loved. We have to acknowledge and lean on the love of Christ. Trust in it. Then, when His love is the only love we know. It will become the only love we are able to give. That is when He will freely release us to the heart of another person. To give and to receive the love that He has gave us. And He will also know who that person is because He would have prepared both of us for one another. As we get to know Christ and we become rooted in Him. He moulds and shapes us. And He knows which perfect shape will fit into us to make the one that comes from the two.

It’s great to love and be loved. It’s great to be in a relationship where you know that you are loved and adored. Where you are cared for and respected. But it is greater to be in a relationship that is ordained by God. One that He forms with His hands and breaths on His Holy Spirit. One that He is a foundation of. I want to make some man happy one day. And I want him to make me happy too. But it is only the happiness that comes from Christ Himself that will make any marriage a happy marriage. So unless he can love me like Christ does, and me love him like Christ does… It clearly means we are both not ready for any kind of relationship…

Stay blessed
P