RECENTLY DIAGNOSED WITH HIV?
Well, I can't say I know exactly how you feel because I don't. I may have an idea because 17 years ago I sat in front of my Dr as he broke the news that I was HIV positive. And one thing I'm sure of is that my reaction is different from yours and someone else's. The emotions I went through and the thoughts that went through my mind are not the same as yours or someone else's. They may be similar but not the same. You see, we all have different thoughts and perspectives about something until it happens to us. Some of us would have thoughts about a situation before it even hits home but just by seeing other people going through it and how they handle it. Some shy away from the fact that it may happen to them so they don't even bother paying attention.
When I was diagnosed in 2001 I was pregnant and had recently buried my cousin who died from HIV related illnesses. For me being HIV positive meant that I was finally facing up to the music of having unprotected sex. Not that I deserved it, no I don't believe I did just as much as I don't believe that anyone deserves this illness despite their lifestyle. In my mind I knew that I have in my time had unprotected sex with someone whose HIV status was unknown to me and because of that decision, whether it was a spur of the moment or planned; bottom line is that some dude infected me with HIV and in my case it was at my consent.
I don't know how you contracted HIV but I believe that the first step to accepting your status is to acknowledge how you contracted the virus and try to deal with that before trying to deal with the virus itself. We have different experiences on HIV and I won't even begin to attempt to understand how a person who was infected through rape or transfusion or an unfaithful partner feels about their infection.
HIV in itself is not a threat to us. What threatens our peace of mind and emotional state is how we deal with the infection. What it means to us and what we do with the emotions that come with that line from the health worker which says "you're HIV positive".
This is the first and hopefully first of many blogs I will be writing on living mentally and spiritually positive with HIV. I want us to engage on the emotional and spiritual challenges we go through from the day of our diagnosis.
My realization is that our struggle with HIV is no longer physical, its emotional and spiritual. Let's fight it together.
So, if you've recently berm diagnosed with HIV, allow me to walk this journey with you. I'm not promising to have all the answers but I promise to share my experiences with and find those answers together.
#HopeRestored
Next blog - HOW TO ACCEPT YOUR DIAGNOSIS?
My life... My story... My life is a story lived to make a difference, to touch and change a life worth living.
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