16 Days of activism against women and children abuse

As we near the end of the “16 days of activism against women and children abuse”, I want us to take it further and not let the protection of our loved ones and those around us be limited to 16 days each year. This should be a daily campaign, for each and every household, community, church, town, province and country. It has to start at home, with the parent or spouse to say “I will not intentionally impose pain of any kind to the one I love”.

It pains me kakhulu to hear that a child has been beaten, burnt and worst of all sexually violated and more so by a family member. I can never understand how a grown man could be turned on by a child of a few months and still find it in his heart  and head to enter her/him in that way. I know from my own children that a child’s scream can be so sharp that you, the parent would want to run away. So how does tolerate that scream of pain and agony? How does he stand looking at the blood coming out of the child and still continue with this sick and evil act? How does a parent hit a child so hard that a child ends up with scratches and marks, in some cases even hospitalised? How does a parent take a lit cigarette and kill it on the child’s body? How does a father continue to rape his daughter everyday to some extent even impregnate her numerously. How does a husband who has married a woman he loved, cherished and appreciated suddenly see her as his punching bag? How does he continuously, daily violate her physically and even sexually. There must have been a time in their relationship where making love to his wife was the most beautiful thing that left her feeling loved and appreciated by her husband, all of a sudden it becomes a forceful act that leaves her empty and hurt.

There are so many cases of domestic abuse and violence that I cannot write about them all, but the point I am trying to make is that it starts at home.  If the child cannot trust their parent, who can they trust? If a child is traumatised every time they are called into a room by their parent because they fear for their lives, how can we build a nation of confident young men and women and create a safer country? If a woman is terrified by the man she is living with at home, the one who has been entrusted to protect her, how can she be confident and still remain feminine in the outside world? How can she be a strong mother to her own children when she herself is living in fear?

We need to start creating loving and safe homes for our children. The greatest commandment in the bible is in Matthew 22:37-39 “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it, “love your neighbour as yourself.” Jesus also says in John 15:12-13 “This is my commandment: That you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends”

When we love God and have Jesus in our lives as our Lord and saviour. We are granted grace to love the way God loves. God loved us to such an extent that He gave up His only son that He should die for us so we can have eternal life. It is clear from both scriptures that we need to follow God’s example of love. Love is sacrificing yourself for the sake of the one you love. Also, if we learn to love others as we love ourselves, then intentionally hurting them and causing them pain is something that won’t even cross our minds. When you love yourself you always make sure that you feel good, that you look good. You take great care of yourself. This is how we should be towards others. When you love, you do not hurt. For where love resides, evil has no place.

Children born into violent and abusive homes tend to be also violent and abusive, which means that what the child sees happening at home, she/he takes practises it outside on other kids and that is affecting the community. It becomes an ever ending chain of violent and cruel events that could well have been prevented had we endeavoured to have more peaceful and harmonious households, and raised our children in homes where everybody is respected, not just for their age but for being a human being. I think in short, respect of life is what we should practise more and teach our children, because in the end... whatever we do or do not do does affect our lives  and those of the people around us.

As I finish this note. I am listening to Michael Jackson’s “Heal the world”. This song has always touched my heart and I think this is what we need to do. Heal the world we live in and make it a better place for all of us but mostly for our children. It still starts at home... when we heal our homes we will in the process heal the world...

Love, be blessed and be safe

P