How much access should an ex have with another? Is friendship, without expectations even possible? How much advantage can one take of the other. Is the offended party obliged to keep the "friendship" going in the name of keeping the peace? What are the boundaries? Without looking back at the past, and reliving the ordeal. Can the offender be trusted to have only good intentions within this "friendship"? What would constitute as opening a door of possible second chances?False hope and the likes?
It is amazing how the offended party is expected to yield to this newly found "friendship". When previously the person wasn't good enough. But now, they're the only people who understand them. At some point they couldn't cook, yet all of a sudden dinners and lunch invites are requested. What brought about the sudden change. Could there be a bit of selfishness in this equation? It just doesn't make sense to me how someone who couldn't stand another is suddenly interested and is apparently more at ease being and talking to the very same person. Especially when there was another party involved. Has that person also become redundant that they can't perform the job that they soooo perfectly did before. I mean, their performance could well have been the cause why there's ex's now. So, how is this circle going to work out? This one today and that one the next, and its all ok as long as you perform to the expected perfection? And if not, then you have to know that another alternative will be found, I mean you yourself are one....
It saddens me really... That it is only one person who allows this to happen and therefore opens the door for the repeated cycle. So now the question is... How does one make sure that this doesn't happen without having to alter their personality. And by that I mean, being rude and cold when you are not that kind of person? Where and how do you draw the line? And when it has already started, how do you put a stop to it?
Questions and questions yes... And we need answers....
Was just thinking out loud....
Blessings
P
My life... My story... My life is a story lived to make a difference, to touch and change a life worth living.
Friday, November 11, 2011
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Monday, September 26, 2011
A person can only be to you what you allow them to be
"A person can only be to you what you allow them to be" ~ Pumza Mooi
Many a time we expect certain things from the people around us and yet we do not give them the opportunity and freedom to do or be those things to us. One cannot be a friend unless they are allowed to be a friend and do what a friend does. A friend listens, supports, cares and is there for the one they are a friend to. When you close the door to all these things that come with being a friend, then you are not allowing the person to be a friend to you. It is so also with children, we expect them to be children yet we do not allow them to be. We do not allow them the freedom to be children and we give them too many responsibilities for their own ages. Wives and husbands, we marry men who are purposed to be our protectors and providers and yet we work so hard to do these things for ourselves that he finds no reason to or feels he will only come short in doing so. Husbands take wives who are purposed to be helpers and yet they shoot down anything and everything that comes out of their mouths or undermine their efforts in building their family.
We seek to be in and to have relationships. A relationship is a connection or an association between two or more people. And these people each have their own roles to play. And one can only play that role effectively if given the opportunity and freedom to do so.
Maybe the next time we feel unsatisfied or unfulfilled in any relationship, and find ourselves doubting the other person, we should ask the question “Am I allowing them to be that to me?”
God bless
P
Many a time we expect certain things from the people around us and yet we do not give them the opportunity and freedom to do or be those things to us. One cannot be a friend unless they are allowed to be a friend and do what a friend does. A friend listens, supports, cares and is there for the one they are a friend to. When you close the door to all these things that come with being a friend, then you are not allowing the person to be a friend to you. It is so also with children, we expect them to be children yet we do not allow them to be. We do not allow them the freedom to be children and we give them too many responsibilities for their own ages. Wives and husbands, we marry men who are purposed to be our protectors and providers and yet we work so hard to do these things for ourselves that he finds no reason to or feels he will only come short in doing so. Husbands take wives who are purposed to be helpers and yet they shoot down anything and everything that comes out of their mouths or undermine their efforts in building their family.
We seek to be in and to have relationships. A relationship is a connection or an association between two or more people. And these people each have their own roles to play. And one can only play that role effectively if given the opportunity and freedom to do so.
Maybe the next time we feel unsatisfied or unfulfilled in any relationship, and find ourselves doubting the other person, we should ask the question “Am I allowing them to be that to me?”
God bless
P
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