A person can only be to you what you allow them to be

"A person can only be to you what you allow them to be" ~ Pumza Mooi

Many a time we expect certain things from the people around us and yet we do not give them the opportunity and freedom to do or be those things to us. One cannot be a friend unless they are allowed to be a friend and do what a friend does. A friend listens, supports, cares and is there for the one they are a friend to. When you close the door to all these things that come with being a friend, then you are not allowing the person to be a friend to you. It is so also with children, we expect them to be children yet we do not allow them to be. We do not allow them the freedom to be children and we give them too many responsibilities for their own ages. Wives and husbands, we marry men who are purposed to be our protectors and providers and yet we work so hard to do these things for ourselves that he finds no reason to or feels he will only come short in doing so. Husbands take wives who are purposed to be helpers and yet they shoot down anything and everything that comes out of their mouths or undermine their efforts in building their family.

We seek to be in and to have relationships. A relationship is a connection or an association between two or more people. And these people each have their own roles to play. And one can only play that role effectively if given the opportunity and freedom to do so.

Maybe the next time we feel unsatisfied or unfulfilled in any relationship, and find ourselves doubting the other person, we should ask the question “Am I allowing them to be that to me?”

God bless

P