Leave the past behind...

Sometimes in life it becomes so easy and actually a better option to hold on to the past. Ironic as it may be, we see it to be the safer option because hey, it’s something that we already know and used to and we may even add that we also know how to deal with it. Now, when I, Pumza Mooi talk about the past, I am referring to those things that didn’t go well; those things and even people that I would rather forget about (but after learning from them off course) because they brought pain and suffering into my life…. it is inevitable that we would meet people who would hurt us at some point in our lives. If we’re honest with ourselves, we have been those people to others. We have people who would rather forget that they met us, people that we were once their prayer items. All it actually takes is to look back a bit and wonder if a certain event in our life was not an answer of a prayer of someone whose heart we broke ;-). There will always be someone with whom we don’t agree or have conflict with. Some we find ways of forgiving and moving past the ordeal some we forgive and just can’t find a way of moving past it. Some, we have difficulties forgiving let alone moving past the painful experience we had with them. Some people are our biggest mistakes, some led us to our biggest mistakes and again, we could have been mistakes to some. Whatever the case, at some point; there has to be some letting go to be done. I mean who really wants to hold on to something that brings pain every time they think of it? Something that could have possibly destroyed their life? Something that attest to their foolishness? Well, we do because it’s better than “jumping from a frying pan and straight into the fire”… mmhhhh!!!

If it happens that we become conscious of the effects of a particular experience and the need to move on from it and put it in forgiving and forgetting land. We also need to be aware of why we do it and how we’re gonna do it. Most times, when we choose to move on from painful situations we tend to do it because we are running away, running away from dealing with it and learning from it. Dealing with a painful experience sometimes means having to relive the ordeal, which is our way to healing. Often times we find ourselves in the same situation, only the next time with a different cast. All because we never dealt with the previous one and therefore never receiving the lesson that was meant to come with it. So then, it is important that no matter how hard or painful it is; we deal with the problem at hand so that we learn the lesson and find healing and the freedom to move past it so that we can really call it a past and one that does not haunt.

So we say we would rather stay with “the devil we know” than going out there and be hopeful for a saint that we don’t know. Then again, when you go out on your own hoping to find this saint, chances are you might just find yourself another devil. Hence it is important that we walk this journey of life with He who is life itself. Not only is he life but also the giver and saver of life and soul. In Jeremiah 29:11 God tells that he has plans for us, plans to prosper us and not to harm us. Off course we know that there’s not much prosperity if we surround ourselves with negative and destructive people. So, isn’t it a great idea to then allow God to identify, locate and position the people we need in our lives? Instead of holding on to the people He is busy removing for the main purpose of that they don’t feature in the future that He has for us?

Ok, let me see if I can unpack this a bit… we know that the most toxic of relationships that we find hard to let go are those of a romantic nature. This could be because we invest so much of ourselves in these relationships that we really never see ourselves getting out of them. No matter how destructive they may be, we always find ways of justifying why we cannot part with them. We hear statements like… “He knows me; he accepted and loved me knowing my background. Who would love me knowing all that he knows?”.” We have known each other since we were kids, I know no other man but him. How do I start over, I am so used to him. It will be such a challenge getting to know a new person”. ”What will people say. Some of them were jealous of us anyway they will say we told you so”. “He’s done so much for me, how do I leave him now?” Now, I am in no way condoning chop and changing men. However, if the dude abuses you, cheats on you and treats you like trash. Isn’t he worth leaving? If anything else then… shouldn’t our love for ourselves supersede our love for the person who makes us feel less of who we are to a point that we start hating ourselves? This to me doesn’t make sense… When we buy clothes, most of the time we choose certain items because they make us feel good. They make us fall in love with ourselves so much that we can’t stop looking at ourselves in the mirror. When a person compliments us, we find ourselves saying “I know” instead of “thank you”, LOL!!! I know I do this and sorry to say but it does feel goooooood;-). So why not be with a person who makes you feel good and love yourself more then?

Theeeeen, you get the friends. Lord have mercy!!!! Strangers you meet and click and connect and share with. And one day, the person changes totally for many possible reasons. Betrayal kicks in and trust is lost and things just don’t feel the same anymore. Friends would gossip about you, steal from you and treat you like the stranger that you came as. But still, we would defend our friends and hold on to this friendship even though it aint so friendly anymore. Our reason would range from “She knows too much about me, I have told her my deepest and darkest secrets, what if she tells?” “She’s been there for me in tough times; won’t I seem ungrateful if I stop being friends with her now?”

I am not even going to start with the family. Tjooo! This is just too much. “She’s my sister, how do I just cut her off?”. If she can stab you in the back and repeatedly hurts you then she’s not much of a sister is she?

What am I saying in all this… well… if it’s time to move on… move on right along… leave the past where it belongs, in the past… behind you.

Most times than not, God removes something in order to make way for a new thing. It’s just that we don’t really trust Him to deliver. We want to see first and receive before we let go. Just like a child holding a cool drink in one hand and reaching out to receive a piece of cake with the other hand, knowing very well that he has to reach out with both hands open to receive. But because he is so nervous about putting his cool drink down; he would risk the opportunity to have a slice of cake to go with it. This is what we do. God promises a brighter future and yet we sit in the dark, waiting to see a glimpse of light before we leave the place we are at. We want to have a man harbouring around us whilst we are in these toxic relationships, even develop some feelings for this other dude before we take the decision to get out. We want to find new friends before letting go of old. People to hang out with; even make the other friend jealous by showing them that we have new friends that we’re spending time with. With families, we try hard to get the attention of other relatives in order to close a void of a person that is still in the picture. My question is… how do you put a filling inside a tooth with rotten food in? Can you imagine the damage? The infections that will come from there? The smell even? And not to mention the pain? So why do we do this? Why do we not remove toxic people from our lives? Why do we hold on even when we see that they are destroying us?

The only answer I can come up with is that they seem as the better and safer options… ironic, yes… but in the mind of a scared person, a lonely person and a broken person. The devil they know is better than the saint they don’t know…

Solution... There is the One who never fails. The One who gave up His life, laid it down for you and me to find joy, health, wealth, peace, love and all the good things that we need. He is constant and never changes. He is forgiving and loving and unselfish. He is faithful and trustworthy. I am talking about Jesus Christ. He died so that we don’t have to go through all these things. And anyone who is in Him is a new creation. With Him the old is out and the new is in. He is the King and knows how to treat us like Queens… He is the friend that sticks closer than a brother. He is the lover of our souls!!!

Stay blessed

P