Do you ever get that feeling like God has forgotten you? Where you wonder why all these bad and painful things are happening to you? You sit and you look at your life and you can actually count in one hand the not so bad things and yet need your hands and feet and even borrow someone else’s in order to come close to the number of all your painful moments. Have you ever got to the place where you look around and you see almost every one of your friends sharing all the good stuff that’s happening in their lives and you wonder what it is that you could be doing wrong… why aren’t your prayers being answered, you wonder if God is even listening to you let alone answering. Have you ever been in a place where you feel like your life is just standing still, sometimes even taking a few steps back. You dream and have all these visions and yet you are unable to do anything about them, and you start asking God why he placed them in your heart in the first place if he’s gonna be the one to close doors for you to fulfil them… when you don’t get answers you just plain assume that well… maybe they were never from him in the first place.
Have you ever been in a place where you just feel all alone and you wonder if the people in your life are there because they pity you or because they truly cared, and if they did care for real… why in the world? Have you ever felt hopeless, useless and worthless, where you even ask yourself if it is all worth it, if Jesus is worth it? I mean, he’s there and yet all these things are happening to you so what’s the point. Have you ever got to that point where the only way out is that you be out… literally? And even dare God saying that if he wants you to live then he won’t allow you to succeed in taking your life? Have you ever been in a place where you find yourself accepting that good things and life are just not for you? Have you ever convinced yourself that maybe God wants you to be sick, that he wants you to lack and be miserable and you really fool yourself by saying it is God’s will and that it is well? And you even support these thoughts by finding all kinds of faults with yourself and believe that this is all punishment because you did this and that or didn’t do this and that?
I may not know your answers to these questions. But I can relate to the fact that while one goes through all these thoughts and emotions. Tears often stream down your face and you find yourself crying as if there’s not tomorrow. You utter the few words that you can manage to say, easiest being “WHY”. Most times than not it’s not followed by any words but just by a pain and a lengthy scream that just feels like your jaws are locked. You know the words you want to say in your heart but somehow you just cannot utter them. And you wonder if God sees what you want to say and if he does will the silent prayer be enough for him to move even an inch to your aid.
In the midst of the above, the questions, the crying and screaming and the hurt, have you ever pictured God’s hand on your shoulder, another one wiping your tears away. Have you ever heard his voice repeating every word that you’re crying in your heart and following with an “I know my child, and trust me”? Have you ever heard him remind you of his word, asking you “didn’t I?”? Have you ever had a conversation just like a child has with their parent who’s trying to comfort them and trying to get the story of the problem? Have you ever heard him say “didn’t I say I will never leave nor forsake you?” (Heb 13:5) when everybody you know seemed to be distant and you felt alone and you wondered if he was there? Have you ever heard him say “didn’t I say I have plans to prosper you and give you a hope and future and not to harm you?” (Jer 29:11) when you asked why things weren’t going well in your life, when you asked why you are hurting so? Have you ever heard him say “didn’t I say I took upon me your infirmities and took away your diseases?” (Mat 8:17) when you cried about being sick? Have you ever heard him say “didn’t I say I will return to you all that has been stolen from you?” Joel 2:25) when you cry about losing your job, loved one, house or anything that belonged to you?
Have you ever heard and felt God with you, in you and around you in the midst of your pain? Have you ever heard his comforting voice telling you that it will all be okay, just trust him and you feel an overwhelming peace within you? Have you ever heard him assure you time and time again that he is working all things together for your good (Romans 8:28), reminding you that nothing is impossible or too hard for him? (Mat 19:6). Has he ever reminded you of the power, authority, strength and ability he has placed in you for you to be more than a conqueror of any challenge you came across (Luke 10:19 & Rom 8:37)?
I have… in the midst of it all… the noise, the pain, the tears, the confusion and uncertainty… I have heard him say it will be okay. I have felt his arms around me and heard his voice telling me to trust him. I have heard him telling me over and over again just how much he loved me and just how much I meant to him. But what has stuck in my mind is when he said to me, “I have your name engraved in the palms of my hands (Isaiah 49:16), I will never forget you. I am with you through it all and I have enough love, strength and power to take you through it. Will you have faith and let go and let me be God?”
And so, I surrender all to him who knows all. To him who is able. To him who holds me as the apple of his eye (Psalm 17:8). Will you do the same and watch the deliverance of the Lord? Will you not be afraid of the vast army that you see now and only see by faith your God fighting and defeating the enemy for you? (Exo 14:3-14).
God loves you and he will never forget you :-)
Be blessed!
P