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Happy Women's Month

Since August is Women’s Month, I thought I should share something for the ladies. I understand that Women’s Day is in celebration of women’s strength and courage and most functions that will be held around the country will have a theme of “Women Empowerment” and in most if not all cases women are empowered in the workplace or “man’s world”. I am all for that and women’s independence but there is an area that we seem to neglect most of the time. And this area is the primary reason why God created us in the first place. Now, most women hide behind these areas of “empowerment” because they are trying to run away from this one aspect of their lives. Whether we like it or not, it does affect us in more ways than one. And it affects us women more than it does men. Yes, some women have written this one aspect of their lives off, believing that they don’t need it. But if we look at the reasons behind them not wanting anything to do with it we would find that it’s either due to a bad experience that they experienced themselves, or a fear of such from witnessing another going through it… what I am talking about is LOVE and Home making.

Too many, if not all of us are on a quest for love. Love to fill our empty lives, love to heal our broken lives and hearts. We would look for this love in all kinds of places, from friends to work even to alcohol and substance usage. What we need is just a partner of any kind that will accept us the way we are and make us feel good. In most cases we look for this love from a fellow human, the one person who will say the right things. Hold us when we cry and tell us everything is going to be alright. We become willing to give up everything we have and all we are just for the temporary relief that this one person can bring, yes…they can bring relief but only for a short while. However, what I have come to realise is that, no man is willing to give love without expecting anything in return. So, because we become so desperate for this love and attention, we end up sacrificing our values, our principles, our hopes and our dreams. The sad part is that, though we sacrifice and give, no guarantee is given that we will have this person in our lives forever, through thick and thin. Even in marriage that’s meant to be forever, forever is not guaranteed.

So many young girls lose their purity to boys who have no intention of making them wives (how could they, when they’re only boys?) in the name of making love. We find girls and women with unwanted pregnancies, abortions and HIV because the only way to prove their love to these men is that they have sex with them without protection. Women are physically abused in the name of love, “I love you too much that’s why I become so jealous about you”. And we accept it because we need to be loved. We become accustomed to being lied to in the name of protection “I cheated and hid it from you because I knew it would hurt you. I love you too much to hurt you like that”. We accept gifts and all kinds of material things as love. It becomes okay when the man is never at home as long at the credit cards and nice clothes keep rolling in “I give you everything you need, money, a house, a car, what more do you want from me?” We accept all these lies and behaviours as substitutes for love. It becomes such an irony when this love we desperately needed to heal us, fulfil and complete us brings us more pain than being without it. It hurts us more and open wounds that are deeper than the ones we had. It leaves us more handicapped, more vulnerable and more broken.

So one may ask… Then where and how can we find love that will do all these things. Is such love even possible? Does it exist? Is there even a point in loving if this is the result…and the answer is YES, YES and YES!!!!

Now, what is love? I mean the true meaning of love… All I have is LOVE IS GOD AND GOD IS LOVE!!!!

God is love

“He who does not love has not become acquainted with God [does not and never did know Him], for God is love.” (1 John 4:8 AMP)... God is the embodiment of love. Love is the very essence of His being.

Love comes from God

“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is (springs) from God; and he who loves [his fellowmen] is begotten (born) of God and is coming [progressively] to know and understand God [to perceive and recognize and get a better and clearer knowledge of Him].” (1 John 4:7 AMP)… God created love. Love is a divine attribute, or characteristic, of God. The essence of God’s nature, and of a godly nature, is love. Love is more than a feeling. The love of God is a way of being.

Love is sacrificial, love is giving, and love is unconditional.

16 “For God so greatly loved and dearly prized the world that He [even] gave up His only begotten ([a]unique) Son, so that whoever believes in (trusts in, clings to, relies on) Him shall not perish (come to destruction, be lost) but have eternal (everlasting) life.” (John 3:16, AMP).

“No one has greater love [no one has shown stronger affection] than to lay down (give up) his own life for his friends.” (John 15:13, AMP).

“In this the love of God was made manifest (displayed) where we are concerned: in that God sent His Son, the only begotten or [a]unique [Son], into the world so that we might live through Him.”

 (1 John 4:9, AMP).

The love of God is what completes and fulfils us. He made us. He knew us before we were even conceived. Who will know best what our hearts need when they are broken? Who knows best what will bring out the complete and perfect being that He had in mind when He created us? Who knows best what we need to make us feel safe and secure? Only the One who created us. Only the One who formed our being, and He is our Creator, our God. Looking for human love when what we need is God’s is like taking a Nokia cell phone to Alcatel to have it fixed, replace broken parts if need be.

Oh! How we could comprehend the depth and width of His love for us; His gentleness, His care and kindness; His desire to wipe our tears and bring joy to our hearts. How He looks forward to running to us, to answer our call whenever we do call on Him. How He waits so eagerly with love to catch our tears before they even hit the ground. How He wants to hold us tight and assure us that everything IS okay. Lord have mercy!!!! We are lost…

I have come to the realisation that unless we come to a point where the love of Christ is enough for us. Where He completes us and we feel no need or desire or dependency for human love. Because really, how can you love another human being completely when you yourself still need and long to be loved? We have to acknowledge and lean on the love of Christ. Trust in it. Then, when His love is the only love we know. It will become the only love we are able to give. That is when He will freely release us to the heart of another person. To give and to receive the love that He has given us. And He will also know who that person is because He would have prepared both of us for one another. As we get to know Christ and we become rooted in Him. He moulds and shapes us. And He knows which perfect shape will fit into us to make the one that comes from the two.

It is the dream of most young girls and women to be happily married one day. To have a loving home and family. It is their dream to find the perfect man, “Mr Right” or “the knight in shining armour”.

On this women’s month, I just want to remind us women that we have Mr RIGHT in Jesus Christ. We have Him at our disposal 24/7. He waits on us hands and feet and heart. He loves us with such unconditional love. There is nothing He wouldn’t do for us. At the sound of our sigh, His ear is attentive to listen. And the sign of weariness He is there to refresh and energise. In times of weakness, He is our strength. Not only to carry our burdens but to carry us as well. His arms are the strongest and most comforting. His voice is soothing and reassuring. If only we could let Him in our hearts and lives. If only we could allow Him to wipe our tears in times of hurt and pain and dance with us in times of joy.

It’s great to love and to be loved. It’s great to be in a relationship where you know that you are loved and adored. Where you are cared for and respected. But it is greater to be in a relationship that is ordained by God, one that He forms with His hands and breaths on His Holy Spirit and one that He is a foundation of. It is greater to have a man hunt for your heart in Jesus’ heart, to search for your mind in Jesus’ mind... I would like to make some man a happy husband one day. And I want him to make me a happy wife too. But it is only the happiness that comes from Christ Himself that will make any marriage a happy marriage. So unless he can love me Christ does and I love him like Christ does… It clearly means we are both not ready that kind of relationship… And while I wait, there is no greater Lover and Friend than Jesus. Not only will He love me to bits but He will prepare me and prepare for me a human love that will stand strong and last… A love that will do all that He does.

Allow yourself to be a woman. Allow yourself to be sensitive, to be dependant. Allow yourself to be in need and to be vulnerable. But most importantly, allow yourself to be all these in Jesus. And He will be all that you are not and not meant to be.

Stay blessed

P